to all who are left

WOOT yes I'm back. My hits went down like humpty dumpty. So I guess this is the big explanation? Well I hate hiding this. I don't even know who, in the first place, decided that this was supposed to be discreet.

No I did not get married.

It was back in December, when my family was here in Melbourne. (Okay, first hint to those who are STILL blur, I said "here"). I went to the park, knelt down and planted my face onto the ground, asking Him for peace and mercy. The conversation with Him the night before didn't feel "sufficient".

I went back, still shaky, but having the slightest hint of faith, got onto the Student Portal.

2 failures.

I should have known?

I guess the "ah well, You'll take care of everything like You have all along" got a bit too far this time. Trying to shake it off my shoulders and not think about it too much, I continued on with my "holiday", bringing my family around Melbourne, eating the most expensive breakfasts that has gone down my dad's oesophagus.

We then went down to Adelaide, as you would've known, for my sister's graduation. With a mindset that all is well, we flew back to Malaysia on the 20th and spent Christmas in KL, then flying off to Sibu, Sarawak, for my cousin's wedding.

We touched down in KL on the 30th, and I spent a memorable, yet uneasy NYE with high school classmates. Going home at 4am on new year's day, the reality of the situation started sinking in. I was going to fly in about 12 hours' time.

"I can SO do this, no problem at all. I love Melbourne anyway. I love my room, I love the coffee, and I love the city."

First time flying Singapore Airlines to Melbourne, I got onto a taxi (SUPER EX!) and went home.

Okay I need to board my flight.. To be continued in Singapore :)

**UPDATED**

I'M IN SINGAPORE! Terminal 3 was impressive, and that was all I was exposed to. But this time, I get to see Terminal 2. Yer..

Wireless was being a pain with the Malaysian mobile country code and stuff..

ANYHOO, once I hit home in Melbourne, things started going downhill straight away.

An idle mind is the devil's workshop.

Having been sharing toilets, sleeping spaces, dim sums, bubble milk tea and hotel rooms with my family for a month, without realising it, there was never a time when I was without them.

Suddenly, I landed in a place where the tram schedules have reverted to weekend timing, where universities are like Changi airport at this hour.

Friends, a few here and there, but I missed home SO MUCH.

Malu ler...

I was reading EVERYONE's BIGGIE 2009 posts on their blogs, and their resolutions, and their reflections.. OMG IT WAS PAINFUL! And everyone was talking about how their vacations went, all the food they ate... BLARGH! I started off my new year STRAIGHT AWAY with studying. I had NO TIME to even think of ANYTHING about 2009. It didn't really come with a big bang! It came discreetly, tip-toed, and brought more sorrow to me than it did joy.

It took me a few days to settle down, and I NEEDED that few days. But I didn't have em. I then left studying to the last minute again, feeling like history has repeated itself.

But I've learnt SO MUCH somehow, just a mere 2 weeks. Not gonna list down what they are here, but I felt like, if I were given the chance to choose from the start whether I would want to go through it again, tough as it was, I think I would.

It was a big slap in the face. A HUGE slap. A slap I very much needed. It's time to change. You're in uni now. It doesn't actually get easier..

But more than that, I've learnt a lot from speaking with Him more. I guess that was really where He wanted me to be.

You know what's amazing? I didn't even TOUCH Annoyance between the time I got down the taxi and after my final paper. (For those of you who are first time visitors, you are MY VVVIP's, haha. And I warmly welcome you, and would like to inform you that ANNOYANCE is my camera, whom I dearly.. like.)

I didn't blog.. I didn't post anything on Facebook. I appeared offline on MSN. I was SOOOO low profile, it's not funny. It felt pretty lonely. But I got over that "stop being so emo and just study larrr" phase and did the best (I think) I could with the remaining time.

I can't say for certain that I did ANY better compared to the papers I did in November, but He holds my future and I'll just follow. Faith has gotta come in here, and I'm gonna be fasting SOMETHING, I still don't know what.

My previous coffee fast was effective, but not so practical in Malaysia, since NOBODY SERVES A DECENT CUP OF LATTE THERE! (Ok, maybe GJ's fine)

So this is not in anyway, a post announcing the AWESOMENESS of my success in getting past this bump, it hasn't ended yet. But I really didn't want you to start suspecting that I got married somewhere in the past 2 weeks. :)

Malaysia here I come!