Saturday, June 6, 2009

surrender

I just wanna make this a real quick one.

Study break so far has been.. Well, not so great. I planned it well, but day by day, I just got more and more slack and was behind by days.

I rescheduled everything last night but this evening found it impossible to follow again.

Then the devil's attacks got stronger. Alicia was studying with me. Well, she was studying, I was just staring into space getting distracted like nobody's business. When I decided to get back into the "zone", I wanted to print something off Wiki.

After countless tries, the printer sounded like it was printing but the paper was just blank! I removed the cartridges to check and suspected them to have dried up. I was just printing with em a few days back, and there couldn't have been a better time than this!

I started kicking my printer and got SO MAD, I just could not get back to studying. I think even Alicia got a bit frightened of me. At that moment I knew SO CLEARLY it was the devil. He knew just when to press the right buttons.

Alicia went back to her apartment, and I decided to "run it off". I got into my running gear and ran out realising it was raining. I did not care. I ran and went home dizzy.

And this is where my story starts. Haha.



In the shower, I felt God asking me to sing. The first song that came to mind somehow was SURRENDER. I sang it like there wasn't anyone home. After my shower I wanted to play some music, and put my iTunes on shuffle. The first song that played was SURRENDER. I so knew He was trying to say something. I put on my clothes and decided to lie on my bed and listen to the song again.

Ah, how clear. I was stressing so much, trying to do everything with my own strength, with my own knowledge. It's pretty obvious why I was so drained and weak. He reminded my once again that it's ALL FOR HIM, I just have to LAY IT ALL DOWN and SURRENDER IT ALL TO HIM. If someone tells me this I would just be like, yeah yeah, but the fact that He laid me down so I could hear these words was just... SUCH A REVELATION!

Peace came straight away and I couldn't stop singing the song. Being in an AWESOME church like Planet Shakers, I admit that I do get TOO familiar with things sometimes. But this song spoke to me so differently as I laid on my bed.

'Rather than planning it all on your own, rather than making time for me around your work, rather than trying to get busy once you wake up in the morning, why not take some time when the sun rises, to ask ME what you should do for the day? Don't you think I would know what would be best for you? Don't you think I would care more about your studies than you ever will?'

I then thought, nah, maybe I shouldn't write about this. Too lazy? Slightly embarrassed? But IAN EUGENE YUN, when I was having my dinner, I clicked on your MSN cuz I found your profile photo pretty funny somehow, and guess what song you were listening to? SURRENDER. What ARE the chances?? So I was like, OK OK I'LL POST IT UP. Haha.

There's nothing more refreshing, nothing more peaceful.

Rely on HIM.

5 comments:

defragment said...

i really like your painfully sincere posts. this is so beautiful =) thanks for sharing! - lauranne

wei xiong said...

glad it spoke to you lauleen.. :)

it's been a while since i've posted ups omethign lidat..

do spam me when you get the tee! :) hope it comes out alright..

take care!

TW said...

wow...even tho it is a bit blur but wow....

hahaha,i must admit ur words are as good as your pics:)

wei xiong said...

YEA I TOLD YOU.. you were apologising and I was like IT'S OKAY!!!

haha thanks mate..

Alvin said...

I like how God works... MX told tim: Jesus said "if you love me feed my sheep", and i think i just fed the mother of all sheeps tonite. it was good. getting something for urself isn't the same as hearing it from someone else... keep it up dude... i know u were running abit dry before, but lets get it back hey? ;)

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